Random Thoughts

I'm back! I apologize for my absence, it's not like I haven't had things to share...just finding the time to share them!

Things are going well...we are slowly but surely figuring each other out. Parenthood is definitely an adjustment and a lot to learn. Totally worth it but at times extremely overwhelming.

The first week or so were extremely emotional for me. I had been warned of and heard about the "baby blues" but never really knew what people were talking about. Well now I do. I cried A LOT that first week or two. For no reason in particular, just when reading P a story (yes I was attempting to read to a newborn...I know), listening to a classical song on my iPod, or even when coming home from Target (yes I actually left the house when he was a newborn...I was stir crazy) and seeing a little boy playing in the park. Hubby would walk into the bathroom and find me sobbing, and all he could do was laugh. Not laugh at me, but just laugh at the hormones. It was helpful as I attempted to do the same.

P and I also struggled with feeding in the beginning. Things were going well enough for us to leave the birth center with no issues but once my milk came in...it was all down hill. On day five after a few awful days that involved 90 minute feedings, him crying, me crying, etc...we finally went and visited with a lactation consultant. She was an angel with bad teeth (sorry...I know that mean but they were!)! She fixed our issues within 5 minutes of being there and P and I have never looked back! Those struggles didn't help with the emotional turmoil I was in. When you are already feeling overwhelmed, stressed about how to actually BE a mother, and then you can't feed your child...it was a lot to take in. BUT we got help and are doing good! (Moral of the story here...don't be afraid to ask for help and listen to everyone when they say to give breastfeeding at least 2 weeks. It is the hardest job EVER but if you get things working right, it will pay off!)

Then there is the sleeping. We all know about those struggles. As of now...we are getting there. We are taking each day at a time and Hubby and I are figuring out that P likes to fill his belly before bed. Last night he ate roughly 8+ oz! Yes...our SIX WEEK OLD! Wild. He is apparently going to take after his parents in the love for food/appetite department!

Then there is the whole..."WHO THE HELL IS THIS PERSON?!" thing. I "knew" him in my belly. I knew he liked to kick me on my left side. I knew he had the hiccups ALL THE TIME. I knew that he tended to be active during the day and sleep at night. I knew that he was an awesome baby that led to an awesome pregnancy. But now that he is out, I have to get to know him without being able to communicate with him. It is hard but gives me a whole new understanding for unconditional love.

Regardless of the struggles, when I look at him, I just cant believe he is here. It is nothing short of WILD. I prayed and wished and hoped for a baby for so long and now he is here and he is perfect. I worried and stressed about not being able to get pregnant or something happening during my pregnancy but he is here. I don't know how people could continue to doubt the existence of God after this experience. It really is a miraculous process and I cant imagine going through it with anyone else.

Happy Baby!